Your first love, you’re young and you take it one step at a time. You’re not sure what exactly to expect, all you know is that it’s a great feeling. Something that you have never felt before and something that you want never to end. You trust this person with you life and you feel totally comfortable around them, you can tell them everything because they are your everything. But sometimes I guess you can get a little too comfortable, and start to take your love for granted.

This I believe is what I have recently done with my first love, Dean Borg. Every second I spend with him I felt a warmth I felt loved and I never want him to leave my side but unfortunately this is not a reality as we all have other commitments. I became too greedy in our relationship and these other commitments made me a green eyed monster. I couldn’t handle the fact that he spent time with other people while I waited for him.

This I’m guessing was my fault, I started to depend on Dean to much and when I couldn’t have him I found myself in a state of depression where the only way out was to be angry at him, and so I took it out on him. Unfortunately one day and this I regret, I dumped my love in the hope that he would see my pain. Now I feel that instead of making him see this pain, I gained him pain.

All I want to do is talk to him about it, but there has never been a chance. He is ether ignoring me or is too hurt to answer. In writing this I hope he reads and see’s that I understand my fault. I took for granted all the good times we had for the one moment I felt unloved. Or maybe I wrote this to overcome the sadness im feeling right now if there is no positive response to this from Dean. I will force myself to move on, I will live by the motto’s ‘go with the flow’, ‘take everything as it comes’ and ‘live life to the fullest’.



My mum told me that there are many fish left in the sea!!! You may have herd that before. At the moment the only fish I want is Dean, although that is not up to me is it. So well just wait and see what happens!!!